Finding The Hero In Your Husband-Intro

I get the marriage podcasts from Focus on the Family. Recently I listened to a series that featured Dr. Juli Slattery speaking on how wives have the power to make their marriages better. If you know me at all, you know that Shane & I have had our share of trials, pain, and bad circumstances throughout our marriage. Last year when we hit rock bottom, it took God to bring us out of our pit. I had to face forgiveness, I have been working on my anger issues, and I have been working on the concepts of respect and submission. I ordered Dr. Slattery’s book and just received it in the mail a couple of days ago. So far, I have only read the introduction and I am excited to read the rest soon! Here is an excerpt from the intro:

“Because women are so unaware of their power to shape their marriages, they often misuse their influence. There are two vital mistakes a woman can make which can result in the destruction of her marriage. The first one is ignoring her power all together. She denies that God has given her any substantial influence with her husband. In fact, she may even believe it is unbiblical to be a strong woman. This critical mistake results in a husband who has neither accountability, nor direction for the use of his leadership.

The second big mistake that a woman can make is to abuse her power. Even while a wife is convinced that she is a victim, she may be using her influence to destroy or discourage her husband. Whether through subtle or overt measures, it is easy for a woman to shatter her husband’s confidence, trust in her and leadership ability through the misuse of her power in marriage.”

I think this book will be a great addition to my marriage series. Let’s explore how to find the hero in our husbands!

“The wise woman builds her house,

but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1

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Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

Finding the Hero in Your Husband: Surrendering the Way God Intended – revised ed.

By Dr. Julianna Slattery / FaithWords

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you are married!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:

hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Marriage Series Index page.

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Pre-School Homeschooling-WEEK 1

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My Themes For The Week:

LETTER: K                           NUMBER: 1

COLOR: Black                     CHARACTER: Kindness

BIBLE STORY(S): King David

BIBLE VERSE: Psalm 34:13 “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.”

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DAY 1:

  • Kendal already can recognize her name (usually); so now I am trying to teach her how the letters work together by sounding them out and spelling.
  • We read “My K Book” from the My First Steps to Learning series.
  • We read about David & Goliath in The Beginner’s Bible (pages 173-180).
  • She colored a picture of David & Goliath from the My Bible Coloring Book.
  • We watched Veggie Tales: Dave & the Giant Pickle.
  • We watched Your Baby Can Read: Volume 1
  • I showed her several flash cards that had 1 item on them and she counted them.
  • We counted links.
  • We read and worked on memorizing Psalm 34:13.

DAY 2:

DAY 3:

DAY 4:

DAY 5:

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My Thoughts For The Week:

Considering that we have never done a homeschooling routine before, I think that we did okay this week. Our schedule was thrown off because our shipment came on Thursday and I had to unpack it today. I did not do everything I planned to do this week (science activities, King Solomon, shapes, and a craft). But that is one of the reasons homeschooling is nice. It allows you to have some flexibility (especially for this age). I will plan to start science next week, do the craft on our review week, and will probably just skip King Solomon for now. Today when we did tracing, Kendal’s attention span was pretty much non-existent. So I plan to try to do tracing a little each day so that I don’t get frustrated with her by trying to do it all in one day.

My Project For The Week:

I made a bulletin board display for colors! Everyone loves ice cream–I found the templates here. I colored, laminated, & cut out each of the pieces. In the top left corner, you will see a pocket which holds each of the color words spelled out. I plan to use them for an activity in the near future.

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My Plans For Next Week:

LETTER: E   NUMBER: 2                              SCIENCE: Creation-Day 1

COLOR: Grey   CHARACTER: Respect   SHAPE: Circle

BIBLE STORY(S): Elijah & Elisha

BIBLE VERSE: Proverbs 20:11

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Pre-School (Home) Index page.

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Blog Updates!

I just want to draw some attention to some of the new and old on this site!

  • I have started a Marriage Series! Although there is only one post so far, more will be added on a contiunous basis (like the Anger Series)!
  • This week has been my first week of homeschooling Kendal! I will be posting what we do every week (at the end of each week) so that you can follow along. Each post will contain web-links to all of the resources that I am using. Check back on Saturday to see the first in the Pre-School Homeschooling Series.
  • If you have never done so, I recommend checking out the Biblical Virtue Prayers & Scriptures. Each of these 58 virtues are important for us, our spouses, and our children to have. Try praying one or two a day over  your spouse and children. After you finish the list, start back at the beginning! If you can think of a virtue that I am missing, e-mail me with the virtue and a scripture to back it up. Then, I will be sure to add it to the list!
  • Are you raising girls? Are they enthralled with the Princess Culture? See what Psychologist Dr. James Dobson has to say about it (and my opinion): The Pretty Princess Phenomenon
  • Are you struggling with the concept of Forgiveness? How can forgiveness help to heal your wounds? Here is my forgiveness testimony: Forgive Them?

As always, THANK YOU for all of your support, comments, & feedback. I love hearing from you and I love hearing your stories! Feel free to contact me anytime!

hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

Image found on Google Images



Top 20 Advantages to Homeschooling

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20. Your kids never tell you that you’re a lot dumber than their teacher.

19. If you can’t find matching socks for your child first thing in the morning, who cares?

18. Cleaning out the refrigerator can double as chemistry lab.

17. Your kids have good reason to think they might get spanked in school, but no reason to think they’ll get beat up by a gang.

16. If the principal gives the teacher a bad evaluation, she can stick her icy feet against his legs at night.

15. You can post the Ten Commandments on your school room wall and won’t get sued.

14. You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.

13.Your child will never go to their 20th high school reunion, meet an old flame, and recklessly abandon their marriage.

12. You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their minds.

11. If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.

10. It’s better to be slightly concerned about socialization than very concerned about socialism.

9. Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.

8. The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.

7. You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.

6. If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.

5. The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.

4. Your kids recognize that this list is numerically in reverse order.

3. Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have on your car.

2. If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.

1. Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle working expert and will turn to you for advice.

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These lists were found on TheApplePeel.org

Love & Respect: The Simple Secret To A Better Marriage (Ch.1)

In Part One of Love & Respect, Dr Eggerichs describes The Crazy Cycle:

Without love from him, she reacts without respect;

without respect from her, he reacts without love.

In our society we are raised to believe that men are to love their wives unconditionally–which is true according to the Bible. But what we are not taught is that women should respect their husbands unconditionally. What does the Bible say about that?

“…Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Dr. Eggerich says:

“5 out of 10 marriages are ending in divorce because love alone is not enough. Love is vital for the wife, but what we have missed is the husband’s need for respect. “Love & Respect” is all about how the wife can fulfill her need to be loved by giving her husband what he needs: respect.”

After reading this book I agree but I admit that it is hard for me to put into practice because I rarely see someone who is respectful to their husband all the time. I often feel that Shane doesn’t deserve respect because I don’t always feel valued by him. The Crazy Cycle is a frequent occurrence in our house.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:28:

“…Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”

I never expected a perfect marriage. I grew up around too many broken marriages to know that perfection is not realistic. I did expect to have a good marriage which for the most part has not been the case. Dr. Eggerich says, “all married couples take a spin on the Crazy Cycle from time to time.” Fortunately, Shane and I have a God who has brought us through our trials and has keep us together. Especially in the past year, he has helped us move toward a better marriage.

In the book, Dr Eggerichs talks about a situation where he responds to his wife’s criticisms by saying “Sarah, you can be right but wrong all at the top of your voice.” Since Shane and I are yellers (more so me), I can definitely relate. Even if I am right about what we are talking about, I become wrong as soon as I let my anger take control of the conversation. When I yell, it causes Shane to become angry and yell back, which causes me to get even more out of control–and the Crazy Cycle continues.

In our marriage, when the positive turns negative, we tend to stay negative for a long time. I generally keep going until I break down and cry. He keeps going until he starts swearing. I don’t think either of us feels loved or respected during those times. Paul clearly wants me to be respectful all the time even when I feel like Shane doesn’t deserve it. I am always disrespectful–sometimes intentionally and sometimes without realizing it. It is a bad habit that I need to break (with God’s help) and I need to start good habits so that I can learn to respect unconditionally.

I respect Shane when I encourage him when he is down about something or when I support him when he is excited about something. More recently I have tried to show my respect by letting him make more decisions without causing a huge argument over it (I have not been very successful). This is hard for me because I usually look at the bigger picture and he usually sees the immediate.

Dr Eggerichs and his wife have made a “life-changing decision.” It is explained in the Love & Respect Workbook:

“He has decided to believe that no matter what Sarah says or does, she does not have evil intentions. She might have a nasty or peevish moment but deep in her heart she intends to do good. She may come across in a way that seems disrespectful to Emerson, but that is not her real purpose. And Sarah has decided to believe that, no matter what Emerson says or does, he does not intend, deep in his heart, ill will toward her. He may come across in an angry way, and give her a cold stare that seems unloving, but his real purpose is not to be uncaring.”

I really want to continually look at Shane this way. I know that he doesn’t intentionally try to hurt me but in the heat of the moment I get defensive anyway. Unfortunately, I usually am the one who keeps the Crazy Cycle going because of my anger.

Homework: Start to think and pray about a woman’s deep need for love and a man’s deep need for respect. Consider how the “life-changing decision” (described above) applies to you.

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Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs

By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs / Thomas Nelson

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you are married!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:

hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Marriage Series Index page.

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She’s Gonna Blow: Underground Issues (Ch.4-Part 1)

Please Note: Due to the length of this chapter; it is divided into two blog posts. Click here to read Part 2.

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Why do we blow up the way we do? Barnhill describes some of the Underground Issues that may influence us in chapter four.

1. Down Deep: Like a volcano we all have a “mantle” (“where the heat and pressure are strong enough to bring rock to the melting point”). Issues include “what we were born with and what has happened to us in the past.” On top of that we have every day stressors: schedules, finances, relationships, and our roles as women, mothers, wives, & workers. Then we have trigger points which for most moms can include our children (who either intentionally or unintentionally find our weak spots).

2. Pressures From The Past: In the beginning of this section, Julie Ann describes painful memories (and lack of memories) of her pre-adoption life as well as a confrontation that occurred after she was adopted that forced her to face the past. “Chances are, your anger toward your children has its deepest roots in underground issues from your past. Any traumas you experience in your early years–a divorce, a sibling’s illness or death, or just painful misunderstandings–are sure to play a significant role in your own family further down the road of life. And if you were abused, the stakes get even higher.”

3. Pressures From Within: These include our physical makeup, our temperament, and our thought processes. Some of these are natural and others are learned. Being a woman adds other pressures such as PMS, pregnancy, & menopause which all “have the ability to affect the way she responds to her children” or husband. These pressures should not be excuses for bad behavior and angry blow ups. But, “the more we can understand ourselves and make adjustments in the area of our weaknesses, the more effective we will be as mothers” and wives.

I was raised in a Christian but very dysfunctional family. As the oldest of 4 kids I had to grow up way too quickly while we dealt with severe illnesses, divorce, remarriages, constant moves, financial insecurity, and a whole lot more. Both of my parents were constantly angry and yelled a lot; either at each other or at us kids. I swore that I would not be angry like them with my children but I am. My mom was very good at encouraging us to pray and read scripture. She often posted scripture around the house which is something that I do as well. I continually turn to prayer after I have an angry blow up.

I tend to react according to the amount of sleep I get. I am a light sleeper so almost anything will wake me up in the middle of the night. I do my best work at night (after the kids go to bed) so I tend to stay up late. I get my best sleep in the morning hours. Unfortunately, when Shane goes to work I have to get up with the girls and end up loosing my prime sleeping time. When Shane is home in the mornings I try to catch up on sleep. I also try not to make my schedule super busy throughout the day so that I don’t add to my fatigue.

Barnhill asks the question: “Do you have any anger about the way God made you?” In a way I think that I do. I don’t understand why he has not healed me from this. I know that he wants me to conquer my anger but it is hard for me to see how he is helping me change (with the exception of making me aware of how bad it is). This has been a continual battle for me.

Chapter 4 continues in Part 2.

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Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

She’s Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger

By Julie Ann Barnhill / Harvest House Publishers

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:  hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

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Article on Increase of “Fake” Christians

Love this analogy that Theologigal quotes from an article she read:

“We think that they want cake,

but they actually want steak and potatoes, and we keep giving them cake.”

She states:

“…the overabundance of cake-theology is, rightly so, making people nauseous. You can’t survive on cake. Your faith can’t survive on just the parts that tickle your ears and boost your self-esteem – a faith without any substance, any meat, will eventually be vomited up and you’ll go looking for something else to chew on to get that bad taste out of your mouth, and millions of people are doing just that.

But the true Gospel is very meaty.”

I encourage you to read the article and the rest of Theologigal’s thoughts!