Blog Updates!

Congratulations Fiona & James on the birth of Lilian Angela!!! Lily was born 4:53am on Friday, August 13th. You may remember that I featured Fiona as a guest writer during my Mother’s Day series. She described her experiences as a first time pregnant mom (“mum”-in Australian). If you missed her post; check it out here. Next step is trying to convince her to write about her first few weeks of motherhood 🙂

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The Countdown has ended and we have arrived in North Dakota! God has blessed us from the moment we arrived (more on that soon)! We are in a new home but we are still waiting on all of our belongings to travel here from Japan. We have been told that our express shipment with all of our clothes, all of our kitchen, homeschooling materials, and the girl’s beds will arrive next week. Of course we were originally told that they would arrive this week…so we shall see 🙂 The large shipment which has all of our furniture and everything else could take up to November to get here. I am praying that it arrives much sooner! In the meantime, we are living on borrowed air mattresses and minimal kitchen supplies along with what we packed in our suitcases. We have bought a few things that we know are not coming in shipments but without the furniture our house is mostly empty. Shane’s parents are coming for a visit tomorrow and staying for a week. Hopefully they won’t be bored out of their mind!

My biggest concern about moving here was the climate…and yes it has been a shock! The first day here it was ND’s hottest day (upper 90’s) of the summer which was perfect for us; but it went downhill from there. We are now in the 70’s in durning the day and lower at night. I have already turned on the heat and don’t plan to turn it off any time soon. I have collected basic items such as candles, flashlights, batteries, etc. in case of a power outage this winter. We still need to stock up on can goods and extra water though.

If you missed my posts about our moving journey before arriving to ND check out the following: “You Are God Alone”The Countdown BeginsThe Countdown Continues.

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The Anger Series will continue soon (now that we have internet in our home and are starting to get into a normal routine). If you have not already; be sure to catch up with the previous posts in the series which are all listed here.

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I look forward to getting back into the blogging routine! I’ve missed being at my computer!

She’s Gonna Blow: Warning Signs (Ch. 3)

In chapter 3, Warning Signs, Julie Ann Barnhill discusses “How to Know When You’re Gonna Blow.”

“There are warning signs and signals for just about everything that can be potentially dangerous. Train whistles and crossing lights caution motorists to slow down and be observant. Tornado sirens drone loudly… However, unless you’re trained to recognize these warning signs, they are ineffective in helping you remain safe and protected. You have to know the warning signs that spell imminent danger–especially when you’re the one in danger of exploding in anger.”

Warning Sign #1: Swarms of Smaller Earthquakes

The author talks about everyday things and chores which may not cause an explosion themselves but together they build up until the explosion finally happens. She says that “…hours before Mount Saint Helens erupted on May 18, 1980, hundreds of small earthquakes were recorded in the state of Washington…”

Laundry Room Rumbles: Piles of laundry all needing to be washed, dried, folded, and put away.

Kitchen Quakes: Crusty dishes, crumbs on counter, spills on the floor, etc.

Technology Tremors: Loosing reports before they were saved on the computer, messing with vacuums or other appliances that won’t work, etc.

Workplace Woes: Dealing with supervisors, stressors, and pressures at work before going home.

These are some but definately not all of the possible “earthquakes” that could be present any given day. Barnhill suggests finding a way to put visual stressors (such as the piles of laundry) “out of sight until you can do something about them.” She also suggests reflecting on Jonah and his complaining when he should have been thanking God. “Instead of fretting over the problem, try thanking God for the gift of the computer or the washing machine, which has saved you so much trouble in the past. A little perspective and a little gratitude can really help you keep your cool!”

My main “earthquakes” include:

~ When my girls are getting into or doing something that they know they are not supposed to do (as in they have been told repeatedly and disciplined for it in the past)

~When my girls argue, fight, hurt each other, don’t share, etc

~When things do not go as planned

~Lack of sleep

Warning Sign #2: Sulfur Dioxide Emissions

“As a volcano nears eruption it will release toxic gases that can endanger human life and health.” Here she discusses body language and speech such as: angry retorts, sarcasm, and little barbs. She recognized the toxicity of her speech when her son started to repeat her facial expressions and speech.

I would like to add swearing to the list. I find it absolutely insulting and rude when I hear others swear around me or at me. Yet, it is a habit that in today’s culture is generally socially acceptable. Although there was a time where I would never swear; over the years certain words became habits. Not in everyday language but when I am angry or I hurt myself it is easy for me to say them. This is one habit that I definitely do not want my girls to pick up.

Warning Sign #3: Physical Swelling of the Slope

“As a volcano nears eruption, its sides will start puffing out from the pressure inside… It simply doesn’t look right–and experts know that funny appearance spells trouble.” The author goes on to describe a story where her anger became visibly apparent to everyone around. Her husband saw the warning sign and did what he could to calm the situation.

When I am starting to get angry; I feel like I am boiling inside. I am pretty sure that my face gets red and my eyes show intense fury. My mom has always said that my face generally says it all before I speak. You know the saying, “If looks could kill…” I generally feel like I have been attacked in some way (Shane says or does the wrong thing, Kendal refuses to obey, Audrey is screaming because she doesn’t want a nap, etc.).

One thing that I have been doing (mainly within the past month) to keep me from exploding is listening to praise music. For some reason the calm worship music helps to keep me more relaxed and peaceful. I can’t say that it 100% has stopped me from exploding but I can say that the explosions are few when I have the music playing in the background. This may work for me because I sing along with the music which keeps me in a worship mindset. I am relaxed so it takes longer to get me to the point of blown out anger.

At the end of this chapter, Barnhill suggests that after an explosion happens to stop and write down what happened right before the explosion. This may help you recognize triggers to your anger so that you can avoid those triggers in the future. I have slowly started to do this but it has not become a habit for me yet so I often forget.

What are your personal warning signs and what things have you learned to do to help diffuse your explosions before they happen?

(P.S. this question is NOT rhetorical! I really would love to hear what others do so that maybe I can learn some more tips to incorporate into my life.)

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Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

She’s Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger

By Julie Ann Barnhill / Harvest House Publishers

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:  hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

*****

You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

lgsquare

Freedom From the Spirit of Anger-Part 2

To recap; here are the main outline points from yesterday (See Freedom From the Spirit of Anger-Part 1 for more on each point):

1. The Bible mentions both personal and impersonal spirits.

2. We must “try” the spirits coming from our and other people’s spirits to make sure they are of God.

3. There is a great possibility that we may not realize it when our spirit is putting off the wrong spirit.

4. Victory in the area of the spirit others sense coming from you is more important than victory in the area of actions others see you doing.

5. There is no Biblical justification for either anger or a spirit of anger.

Continuing the sermon Freedom From the Spirit of Anger by Dr. S. M. Davis; we finally address a couple of the statements that Christians often use to justify their anger.

Two questions that are commonly asked by people who defend anger are:

1. “But didn’t Jesus get angry?”

  • The following words occur a total of 584 time in the Bible: Anger, Angry, Wrath, Wroth, Fury, Furious, & Indignation. 470 of those times (80%) appear to be God’s wrath (Numbers 11:10, Joshua 7:1, 2 Samuel 6, 1 Kings 14:15, 1 Kings 16:33, Isaiah 30:27, etc.)
  • The only time that the Bible says that Jesus used anger was in Mark 3:5: “He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.”
  • Jesus seemed to get angry most at hypocrisy. Twice Jesus seemed to be angry when he cleansed the temple (John 2:12-25Matthew 21:12-17). Jesus seemed to get angry at the Pharisees in Matthew 23.
  • Isn’t Jesus our example? In most areas; yes he is our example. But there are a couple of things that Jesus did; that if we are wise, we probably won’t try:

1. Jesus, in a weakened state after 40 days of fasting was lead directly in the presence of Satan to be tempted. Jesus proved that He is God; we would probably prove that we are not God. Only two chapters later (Matthew 6:13) Jesus said that we should pray “lead us not into temptation” The best way to deal with temptation is to stay away from it.

2. Another thing that Jesus did that we should not do; is use anger. God’s anger is spiritual and produces justice. Man’s anger is carnal and produces injustice. God can righteously get angry; and then righteously take action that man cannot righteously take because man isn’t God.

  • The purpose of wrath is vengeance. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:19 (KJV)
    • Vengeance is not given to us. Ezekiel 24:7-8
    • If a parent spanks a child while angry; he has not disciplined the child. He is carrying out vengeance upon the child. He violates Genesis 18:19, Luke 1:17 which require that a parent be just. This can easily cause a child to be disobedient or rebellious.
    • When a man is defending his family he needs courage and discernment not anger. Angry people act out of rage instead of reason.
    • Anyone who says anything in anger will probably say the wrong thing. But if they do say the the right thing; it will probably be said the wrong way. (Proverbs 14:17)

  • What are the results of an angry spirit in the pulpit?
    • Continual strife among pastor and deacons, pastor and people, and people and people.
    • Empty pews and people going to churches that don’t preach the Bible.
    • A plague of anger is spread throughout homes, businesses, and society
      • “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24-25
    • Vengeance is being handled by someone not Biblically qualified to handle it.
    • It causes us to lose the battle to spread God’s truth among the nations of the world.
      • The fruit of the spirit is most powerful when it is presented with the fruit of the spirit; not anger. (Love, Joy, Peace, Long suffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, and Temperance).

2. “How about the verse that says, “be ye angry and sin not?” Ephesians 4:26 (KJV)

  • Notice first the number of clear scriptures that say to get rid of anger completely. One of them being only 5 verses away.
  • Notice secondly that the Greek verb tense for “Be ye angry” is a present-passive imperative.
    1. Present = Now
    2. Passive = You are being acted upon
    3. Imperative = Command
    • Meaning= There are going to be times when you feel something or someone working on you to make you angry. Recognize that! Don’t let it happen. Don’t sin by getting angry.
  • You may not be able to stop the initial emotion you feel that leads you into the sin of anger. But you can with God’s help; refuse to be angry, to express anger itself, or allow anger to deepen and turn into wrath.
  • The problem with the world’s reasoning that its okay to get angry:
    • Anger is not something you can properly control. You can’t have “a little bit” of anger. You cannot have a little adultery, a little idolatry, a little murder, or a little anger.
    • The world’s reasoning about controlling anger causes us to miss God’s way to control anger.
      • ” It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Proverbs 21:19 (KJV)

 

10 Steps to Conquer the Spirit of Anger

  1. Recognize the problem and its seriousness.
  2. Desire the victory enough to cry out to God.
  3. Repent of the sin.
  4. Confess the sin of fore-fathers and ask God to break any curses coming down the generations.
  5. Ask God to take back the ground Satan has taken because of anger.
  6. See the connection between anger and lust in Matthew 5:21-32.
  7. Watch for people and things that are gong to come your way to make you angry.
  8. Purpose to enter the presence of family members and business associates with praise.
  9. Ask God daily to fill you with the Holy Spirit and to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your life.
  10. Make yourself fully accountable.

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This sermon (both Parts 1 & 2) caused me to completely change my views on anger. For most of my life; I believed that I had every right to be angry for the bad things that have happened in my life. I used the exact arguments that Dr. Davis addresses in this sermon to justify my anger. I said to myself (and others), “Jesus got angry so it must be okay.” I most often am told that it is okay to have “righteous anger,” or “anger is not a sin but what you do when you get angry can be sin,” “you have to release your anger in a healthy way,” etc. I lived and believed these statements and I never stopped being angry! I never got over my anger so it turned into bitterness (I will address a sermon on bitterness in the near future). And now I am the wife and mom who is angry and bitter.

Only by God’s grace did I recognize the ugliness my heart and only through His power am I slowly changing. I started to look at my anger as sin. So now I know that I am wrong and that I need God’s forgiveness every time I get angry. I am not judging anyone else to determine if anger is sin for everyone. Maybe it isn’t; I don’t know. That is between each person and God. I just know that God’s Word spoke to me on a whole new level when I heard the message of this sermon. It wasn’t until I started facing my anger as sin and stopped justifying that I began to really dealing with my problems with anger. Don’t get me wrong. I still have a long way to go. I still have to break all of my bad habits and start replacing them with new ones. This is still a daily struggle for me but God is the Potter and I am the clay. He is still molding me and making me into the woman that He sees in the completed picture.

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Freedom From The Spirit Of Anger by: Dr. S. M. Davis

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:  hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

Image found on Google Images.

Freedom From the Spirit of Anger-Part 1

The second sermon in Dr. S. M. Davis’ Anger Series is Freedom From the Spirit of Anger. In it he responds to the statements most often used to justify anger. So that I don’t make this post too long I have divided the sermon into two posts. The Part 2 will address the statements: Jesus got angry or Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin…”  Click Freedom From the Spirit of Anger-Part 2 for the second installment and my personal comments on this sermon. (The outline and information here are my notes from the sermon. A lot of it is directly quoted.)

“And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he steadfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem, And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him. And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did? But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of. For the Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.” Luke 9:51-56 (KJV)

“Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of” means you don’t realize the spirit coming from you; the spirit that your spirit is putting off, emitting, or revealing.

1. The Bible mentions both personal and impersonal spirits.

  • Spirit “pneuma”=Holy Spirit, Evil spirits, or Other spirits. There is a difference between:
    1. Your spirit
    2. Good & bad spirits (whether personal or impersonal) that affect your spirit
    3. The spirit that others sense coming from your spirit.

2. We must “try” the spirits coming from our and other people’s spirits to make sure they are of God.

  • “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” 1 John 4:1

3. There is a great possibility that we may not realize it when our spirit is putting off the wrong spirit.

  • “All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits.” Proverbs 16:2 (KJV)
  • “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3
    • It is easy to see our wife’s (husband’s) lack of respect; yet not see the beam of our own anger.
    • It is easy to see our children’s disobedience or stubbornness; yet not see the beam of our own wrath.
  • Do your parent’s or grandparents have a problem with anger? Anger is often like a family curse that is passed from generation to generation.
  • An angry spirit manifests itself in a harshness that keeps those around us on edge. It cuts back on a person’s life potential. An angry spirit causes people to be afraid to be around you. Not the fearful respect that accompanies any strong leader. Instead this is a wrong sense of fear that is caused by the unpredictability of a man or woman with an angry spirit.
  • The spirit of anger is the very opposite of the spirit of Christ; which is the spirit of meekness and gentleness.

4. Victory in the area of the spirit others sense coming from you is more important than victory in the area of actions others see you doing.

  • It is easy to be deceived in this area and feel that you are fine; because you obey the letter of the law but disobey the spirit of the law.
    • “But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.” Galatians 5:18
    • “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” Matthew 23:23
  • It is more important to have victory over the spirit of anger than the outward manifestations of anger. Where there is victory in the spirit; there is far more likely to be victory in the outward manifestations. Deal with the attitude toward anger and the action won’t be as likely to be a problem.
  • Step away; not just from anger but from getting angry.
    • “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” James 1:19

5. There is no Biblical justification for either anger or a spirit of anger.

  • A typical Christian’s attitude toward anger is that there is a place for anger, it can be a useful tool in the right setting or circumstance, it releases tension, there is always a need for righteous indignation. All that matters is what the Bible says.
    • “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.” Psalm 37:8
    • “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” Proverbs 19:19
    • “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” Proverbs 27:4
    • “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 (KJV)
  • There are some things in life that you get victory over because you know you just can’t do them. The consequences for those things are far too great. There are some things that you just don’t do at your house: “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,” Galatians 5:19-20 (KJV)
    • You don’t bring X-rated movies to your house and watch them as a family.
    • You don’t bring and idol into your living room and bow down before it.
    • You don’t bring have a witch come into your house and hold a séance.
    • And you don’t get angry in your house. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger…be put away from you…” Ephesians 4:31
    • “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8
  • “Righteous Indignation” is not found in scripture. Indignation is found 4 times and is described as “great” or “fiery.” Twice it is God’s indignation and twice it is man’s indignation. The indignation of God was righteous and the indignation of man was sin.
    • Could God give his wrath to someone? If he did; he would violate his own command to let all wrath be put away from you (Ephesians 4:31).
      • There are illustrations in the Bible where it appears that someone is receiving or assuming God’s wrath. But when you see the result; you realize that man cannot handle wrath at all…even God’s wrath. (Moses, Sampson, King Saul, etc.)
      • If God gave “righteous indignation” to man; man would turn it into unrighteous indignation.

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Freedom From The Spirit Of Anger by: Dr. S. M. Davis

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at: hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

*****

You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

Image found on Google Images.

A Woman’s Answer To Anger: Starting Down The Road From Rage (Ch. 1)

Earlier this year, I facilitated a Bible Study for women dealing with anger. We read A Woman’s Answer To Anger by: Annie Chapman and watched several sermons by: Dr. S. M. Davis over the course of the study. Chapman shares personal stories and incorporates scripture throughout her message of how to let go of anger. The study questions were really helpful for our group discussions.

In the introduction The Answer To Anger, the author shares Proverbs 10:7 “The memory of the righteous will be a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.” Referring to after she has passed away she asks the questions, “What will my family remember about me? What are the words they will use to describe me?” She points out that “anger can be a vicious destroyer of one’s good memory in the minds of others.” I want my children and others to remember me as someone who lived her life for Christ and strived to be a Proverbs 31 woman. A year and a half ago, they would probably have said that I am controlling, angry, and bitter. Chapman suggests that “sometimes we choose anger as an alternative to other emotions. Anger can feel more manageable than grief or sadness.” This is true for me. When I am angry I don’t feel as hurt by the person who wronged me. Instead, I can hurt them with my anger. When I cry, I feel hurt, broken, and weak. I would rather feel in control with my anger. I almost always default to anger. It isn’t until I have nothing left that I actually break down and cry it out. Although those previously mentioned adjectives could be used to describe me today; I am now actively working on my struggle with anger. I pray that in the near future those adjectives will completely be removed from my character description.

In the first chapter of the book Starting Down The Road From Rage, Chapman gives her testimony of how she came to know Christ and a little bit about her journey from anger. Then she says,

“For some of us, the road from rage may be a simple procedure, like the extraction of a tooth. The pain is real, but comparatively minimal and quickly resolved. However, for others, the healing requires much more work form hands of “The Great Physician.” And, it requires a great deal more from the patient. Seeking God to discover where the rage started, identifying the offending people who must be forgiven (or asked for forgiveness), confessing the sin to God, forsaking it, and going about the hard work of reprogramming the thought processes are all part of the procedure… But, is it easy? Absolutely not! Battling thought patterns, humbling ourselves and dying to the human pride that got us to the point of trying to live independently from God, and receiving His grace to deal with the predicament are never easy.”

I cannot remember a specific major event which started me on the anger cycle of my life. But, I can think of several things that have happened to me that caused me to respond in anger over the years. In this chapter, Chapman refers to Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This is a wonderful reminder for me. Anything bad in my life caused by others or that I caused because of my anger; God can work together for good. He can use those things to bring glory to himself. Each of those things are just a small piece of the much bigger picture! When we recognize that important truth; then we can start to move along the path of healing.

Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

A Woman’s Answer To Anger has been retitled.  It is now called:

Letting Go of Anger: How to Get Your Emotions Under Control

By Annie Chapman / Harvest House Publishers

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at: hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

*****

You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

lgsquare

She’s Gonna Blow: Volcanos 101 (Ch.2)

In the second chapter Volcano 101, Barnhill describes several types of natural volcanic eruptions and relates them to anger.

  1. The Strombolian: “It spits out volcanic materials such as cinders and thick, pasty lava bombs… Eruptions are relatively short and happen at predictable intervals”
    • “Verbal cinders of sarcasm… and cinders of regret… Repeated small eruptions and cinder showers can eventually bring about as much damage as any other kind of eruption.”
  2. The Hawaiian: “Characterized by lakes and rivers of constantly boiling lava… doing little damage… But sooner or later the fiery lava will… overflow the sides… From a distance, the slow-moving streams of lava don’t look that dangerous… [But when they] leave behind acres of desolate black rock in place of green country side–then their destructive nature becomes clear.”
    • “If you simmer and seethe long enough… sooner or later the anger and negativity inside you is going to break out… Caustic criticism, negative assessments, unfavorable comparisons, sarcastic barbs, teasing that carries and edge, or just pessimistic pronouncements about life in general… This kind of mom doesn’t just blow and get it over with; she just keeps picking and harping.”
  3. The Vulcanian: “Loud, scary, and dangerous!… The solid fragments violently ejected from the mountain are hot and deadly and will annihilate anything or anyone they come in contact with. The gases are usually poisonous.”
    • “Verbal, physical, emotional… She lets loose with poisonous words and actions… Her wrath is unpredictable, and she doesn’t get over it quickly.”
  4. The Pliaian: “The most violent of volcanic eruptions. Everything about such an explosion is big and bad… [Characterized by] the sheer volume of material ejected… and the sheer power of the explosion that throws it out.” (Mount SaintHelens on May 18, 1980).
    • “We’re talking about really loosing it–screaming until you’re hoarse, rampaging through the house, perhaps even beating a child or saying the kinds of things that wither your heart when you think about them later… Angry explosions that cause your children to hide from you or leave the house (physically and emotionally)–explosions that leave you wondering what kind of monster you’ve become.”

Most consistently I am a combination of The Hawaiian & The Vulcanian with my girls and Shane. I tend to keep record of everything and live in a boiling state and eventually I explode. In public I can generally control my temper even though I am boiling inside. You would probably be able to see my frustration and irritation on my face. In private it is easier for me to let loose and yell my demands. There are times when I have gotten so angry with Shane that I couldn’t stop screaming and yelling until I completely lost all emotional control. That scenario usually ends with me crying and going in to a depression state.

My greatest fear is that my girls will become like me. I do what I saw my mom and dad do my whole childhood. And from what I understand there are people from several generations above  me who have had anger problems too. I know that my relationship with my mom was broken because of her and my anger problems (we have repaired a lot of our relationship over the past several years). I desperately want to have a good relationship with my girls–now and when they are older. And I want to break the anger cycle so that they (and their children) don’t have anger problems in the future.

Barnhill points out that volcanic eruptions are dangerous and can damage “your children’s sense of security, your spouse’s trust, and your relationship with God.” She also pleas with moms to start understanding their type of anger and learn what their triggers are.

The good news for those of us who have blown our tops (no matter what the type) is that God is a forgiving father who is able to help us change. I sing the following Keith Green song as a prayer, which remembers the words of David, almost daily:

Create in me a clean heart oh God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Create in me a clean heart oh God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence oh, Lord. Take not thy Holy Spirit from me.

Restore unto me, the joy of thy salvation; and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10-12 (KJV)

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Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

She’s Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger

By Julie Ann Barnhill / Harvest House Publishers

*****

I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:  hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

*****

You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

lgsquare

Anger The Destroyer

Last year my mom introduced me to sermons on dvd by Dr. S. M. Davis. He is a dynamic preacher who clearly presents God’s Word in a way that is easy to understand. I have purchased several of his sermons and have referenced them many times in my blogs. I have learned a lot from them and highly encourage you to listen to and/or watch Dr. Davis’ sermons if you ever get the chance.

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In the first sermon in Dr. Davis’ Anger Series, Anger The Destroyer, describes how bad anger really is. (Anything in Bold is directly quoted from the sermon.)

ANGER DECEIVES

  1. Anger feels justified (“I have a right to be angry”).
  2. Anger sometimes seems to work.
  3. There is no justification for anger.
    • When you stand before God; He is not going to ask you if you had a good excuse for your rebellion, disobedience, bitterness, bad attitude, anger, etc.

ANGER DESCRIBED

  1. Anger is like a city without walls. “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” Proverbs 25:28 (KJV)
    • Anger makes you weak and vulnerable so that you and those under you can be destroyed.
  2. Anger is like an unbearable load. “A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool’s wrath is heavier than them both.” Proverbs 27:3 (KJV)
    • “Heavier” = massive, abundant, burdensome, difficult, and oppressive
  3. Anger is like a flood. “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” Proverbs 27:4 (KJV)
    • “Outrageous” = “a downpour or flood”
  4. Anger is like a poisonous snake. “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” Proverbs 27:4 (KJV)
    • “Cruel” used in Deuteronomy 32:33 refers to the “venom of asps” (KJV)
  5. Anger is like a fire breathing dragon. Job 41
    • Cruel and fierce

Image courtesy of Google Images

ANGER DISCOVERED

  1. Anger comes from Pride. “Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in proud wrath.” Proverbs 21:24 (KJV) & Matthew 18
  2. Anger comes from tensions created by unresolved guilt.

Your anger isn’t caused by what is outside of you;

it is caused by what is happening inside of you.

ANGER DEFEATED

  1. Quit justifying your anger.
  2. Accept personal responsibility for your anger. Fight the anger not the consequences of anger. “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” Proverbs 19:19
  3. Confess any pride by humbling yourself before God and others and ask for help.
  4. Deal with unresolved guilt.
  5. Forgive others. Leave vengeance to God.
  6. Seek to become meek and gentle like Jesus. Meekness is strength under control and anger is weakness in control.
  7. Think of the blessings that will be yours when you cease to be an angry person.

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I think the reason I did not start dealing with my anger until a year and a half ago is because I justified it. Every time I got angry I had a right to respond that way because someone did me wrong. In Matthew 5:21-22 Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’* is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” Most people will agree that murder is a sin. Jesus takes it a step further and clearly says that anger is also. Jesus is speaking of the heart of the matter. Anger leads to murder. Although you may not murder someone physically; when you are angry with someone you either temporarily or permanently murder that person in your spirit. In the King James Version, Matthew 5:22 uses the phrase “angry…without a cause.” Dr. Davis points out that all other times this phrase is used in scripture; “without a cause” means “there is no cause.” (1 Samuel 19:5, Psalm 35:19, Psalm 69:4, Psalm 109:3, Psalm 119:78, Psalm 119:161, Matthew 5:22, John 15:25).

When I finally realized that was sinning in my anger;

I was finally able to start moving in the direction of healing.

Just as I did for most of my life; many of you will argue that “anger is not a sin” based on the fact that Jesus got angry or Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin…” Please note that Dr. Davis addresses those arguments among others in his sermon Freedom From the Spirit of Anger-Part 1 and Freedom From The Spirit Of Anger Part 2. In the mean time, pray that God will open your heart to the truths of scripture even if he reveals to you something different from what you have been taught for years. This is what happened to me.

* “Raca” means “empty headed one”

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Anger The Destroyer by: Dr. S. M. Davis

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at:  hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

She’s Gonna Blow: How Did I Get Here? (Ch.1)

As I explained yesterday; I am starting a blog series dealing with anger. I will not be addressing this topic daily but it will be frequently. I am excited to start this new journey of journaling and accountability for this area in my life. I hope that others are encouraged by this as well.

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I am starting my series with the book I am currently reading: She’s Gonna Blow by: Julie Ann Barnhill. The author has a funny way of presenting the honest truth of angry moms. She tells personal stories and experiences while also conveying her message of how to deal with anger. At the end of each chapter; she includes questions that help the reader focus on what is happening in their life. A group of friends and I have been answering these questions together and discussing them as a way of accountability. In order to prevent infringing on copyrights; I will not be typing out the actual questions. I will incorporate my answers to most of the questions as I summarize the chapters in my posts. (Click She’s Gonna Blow; if you are interested in purchasing the book in order to follow along with me).

In the first chapter How Did I Get Here?, Julie Ann Barnhill shares a couple of experiences which made her ask that very question. “Aha!” moments which revealed to her that she had a problem with anger. One moment was three weeks after her son was born and her (at the time 18 month) daughter proclaimed loudly in public “Big bottom, Mom! Big bottom!” Likewise, I really saw how bad my anger was soon after Audrey was born. Already exhausted and hormonally challenged; I realized I was taking my stress and emotions out on my just turned 2 year old–Kendal. It seems that when I am with other kids that are not mine; I don’t have a temper and can easily control any emotions. I generally have a lot more patience with other kids. With my kids; it doesn’t take much to set me off (even after over a year of working on it). I prefer being in group settings with other kids when doing projects (like decorating Easter eggs, making gingerbread houses, etc) because I have fun. If it is just me and my girls, the perfectionist in me would causes me to get stressed and not have fun (and makes it miserable for the girls). My main anger triggers are stress and lack of sleep. I also do not have tolerance when Kendal hurts Audrey or when either of the girls do something that they have been told not to (and disciplined for) over and over. When Shane & I get into arguments and are angry at each other; it is easy to transfer that anger to anything the girls are doing.

Barnhill then described her “what every mom longs to be” list before children: “dynamic, involved, compassionate, fun, inspiring, and loving.” After having children her “good mother” adjectives did not measure up: “impatient, discontented, irritable, depressed, disappointed, and angry.” She also shared letters from other moms experiencing similar problems with anger. Before I had children I usually communicated anger by yelling. Although I have been an angry person most of my life; I think the intensity has definitely increased since being a mother. I still frequently yell out of anger; which I know completely has the opposite effect. I am very blessed to be able to stay home with my kids but before kids I envisioned being a stay-at-home mom as fun and fulfilling. Generally after spending a full day with the girls by myself; I am ready to completely pass the parenting roll to Shane as soon as he is available–so that I can go hibernate.

I believe that problems with anger are often justified or kept secret. Personally, I really need continuous and active accountability in this area. Most of my friends know that I have an anger problem and a lot of my church knows because of giving my testimony a few months ago. Only the friends who I have been accountable to over the past year and a half really know how bad it is. If this is a problem area in your life; I encourage you to find a close friend who you can share with and who can help hold you accountable.

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Order at Christian Book Distributors through the following link!

I get credit for all purchases made through my CBD links!

She’s Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger

By Julie Ann Barnhill / Harvest House Publishers

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I would love to hear your thoughts and stories if you have ever dealt with anger in your life!

Please feel free to comment on my posts and/or e-mail me at: hearttreasurescontact@yahoo.com

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You can find links to all posts in this series on the Anger Series Index page.

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