Have you ever had one of those days when the Devil just keeps doing whatever he can to bring you down? That has been my weekend! Things just keep going wrong and has caused my stress level to go out the window. Of course when that happens my anger control goes out the window too. My kids have heard me yell at them more in the past two days then they have in the past month. And that makes me feel like a complete failure because I have been working so hard on controlling my anger. This morning I was so stressed (because of the girl’s continuing disobedience, destructiveness to the house, fighting, and tantrums) that I just broke down and cried. Kendal (age 3) tried her best to comfort me by saying “Mama don’t be sad, don’t cry” repeatedly. It was when she said “Mama doesn’t need a binki; you are a big girl” that I was able to stop crying. I was unable to laugh out loud but inside it did something to calm me down a bit. Of course, the disobedience, destructiveness to the house, fighting, and tantrums did not stop and my stress level started to go up again. My husband after working a 12 hour overnight shift (that actually was more like 13 hours) came home and took the girls out for lunch and to the park. –Which is why I am able to sit here and write this in one sitting. I called him after they had been gone for 10 minutes and thanked him and made sure he knew that I appreciated him taking the girls away from home. After just 10 minutes of a quiet house; my stress level dropped tremendously. I still have a destroyed house (clothes, dishes, toys, etc. everywhere) and the girls will probably still be chaotic when they get back home but I have had a little time to calm myself down. *deep breath*

One of my favorite songs that really helps me to focus on what needs to change in my life is sung by a local group in Delaware. I have it playing on repeat right now! I have not been able to find a link so that you can hear it (but the lyrics are below). The group is made up of two sisters (Brenda & Christie) and together they call themselves EverAfter. Brenda was one of my youth leaders when I was in middle school & early high school. If any of you in Delaware have a chance to get their album “Listen;” I highly recommend it. (I don’t think the purchase link on their website works. I’m not sure if the album is available at The Branch or The Mustard Seed; but they may be able to find out how to get ahold of it. EverAfter played at Lamb Jam several years ago.)

Anyway, realizing that I cannot change on my own takes a lot of pressure off.

“…O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter;

we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

I know that Jesus is continually working on me. I just have to continue to let him. Keeping that in mind; I will strive to keep my stress level down this afternoon when the girls return. Thank God for prayer!

“All That I Am” by EverAfter

Lord, these lips get me in trouble
So many times a day
I’m so often feeling sorry
For the careless things I say
Your word says deep inside of me
Is where the trouble starts
My mouth just overflows
With what’s already in my heart

So starting now
Starting now

Chorus:
All that I am
Is on the altar of You
Change my motivations
Change my attitude
‘Cuz I can’t change myself
But, Lord I know You can
All that I am is on the altar
So You can alter all that I am

Take this love of reputation
From this prideful heart of mine
Take out the prejudice, the arrogance
The selfishness You find
And if there’s unforgiveness
Or some long forgotten grudge
Replace it with humility
Obedience and love

Chorus

I want everything I am
To be all that You’re about
So Lord I’m asking You
To make me new
From the inside out

Chorus