By Alysa on May 19, 2010 ( 1 Comment )

Mom or Mum? (Mother’s Day Series- 5)

I had asked a friend to write about her pregnancy experience for my Mother’s Day Series (if you missed any of the series; see bottom of post for links). Unfortunately her internet connection has been on and off for the past few weeks and she was unable to get it to me in time. I personally feel that Mother’s (and Father’s) can be celebrated any time of the year! So today I am going to feature her story. I call her a “Mom” but because she lives in Australia she will be known by her baby as “Mum” 🙂

We have never met face to face but have become very good friends over the past year. We met online through a facebook game called Hatchery and have been co-admins for a facebook group that supports the game. Through our frequent e-mails about the game we also started talking about real life. Probably because we didn’t really know each other; we really clicked and felt comfortable talking about things that we didn’t really share with other friends who knew us personally. We have prayed for each other and encouraged each other a lot. I hope that one day I can give her a hug 🙂

So without further ado; I would like to introduce my guest writer Fiona!

*****

I’m not one of those women who gets clucky at the sight of every baby or toddler and declares, “ooh, your thighs are so cute and chubby I just want to eat them up!”

In fact, when we first got married in 2004, my husband [James] was probably the one who loved kids the most. If it had been solely his decision, we would have started having kids one or two years into our marriage. As for me, when asked when we were thinking of adding children to our family, my vague reply was usually, “maybe next year we’ll start to consider it”.

It’s not that I was scared of being a mother. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I was! The idea that from the very moment you conceive, you are completely responsible for the life of another human being, a little person who is completely dependent on you in EVERY way. And what’s more, any of your own character faults are most likely going to be amplified in a little person who imitates everything you do, whether consciously or subconsciously. Talk about the hugest responsibility of all time.

And then there was the element of being pregnant for 9 months. Not having any control over my own body’s eating desires (or so I had been told), gaining weight, acquiring stretch marks, being sick all the time, sore back, squished organs… the list goes on… and that is only if the pregnancy progresses normally with no complications whatsoever (that whole “glowing” thing? I just don’t buy it)! Let’s just say I had plenty of reasons to hold off from having children.

But, at some point, enough time had passed and I found myself deciding it was time. Was I ready? Probably not. But I told my husband I was probably about as ready as I’d ever be. And on Christmas Day 2009, James and I announced to all four of our parents that they were going to be grandparents for the very first time. And the rest is history.

All in all, despite the regular “symptoms”, my pregnancy has been smooth and relatively easy. Apart from the odd bout of emotional outburst. Okay, so maybe it’s been more than a few times.

At first, it didn’t really seem all that real to me. First trimester was not at all enjoyable. It seemed like it was all symptoms and no point to them whatsoever. For all I knew, I was simply suffering from multiple chronic issues including indigestion, constant nausea (wouldn’t it be nice if it were ACTUALLY confined to only mornings?), loss of fitness, general fatigue, and unexplainable weight gain. The excitement was virtually non-existent… except for when I was talking to Kerry, James’ mother and Baby Snare’s grandma-to-be! I did have the 12 week ultrasound (I told my husband that my only goal for that ultrasound was simply to get proof that there actually was a baby inside me!) but whilst it had its magical moments, after it was over it still felt like I was simply watching someone else’s baby video.

Even as the second trimester began all I felt like was fatter and more bloated than ever, with the addition of blotchy, blemished skin. But then came the magical moment – on Easter Monday 2010, as I was lying in bed enjoying a sleep in, I turned on my side and suddenly realised that the little thumps I had been feeling my belly were not my heartbeat, but physical signs of another human life! Maybe there really was a baby inside of me! The thumps gradually became stronger over the next few weeks until James was finally able to feel our baby too.

I am now officially into my third trimester and the reality is starting to sink in. I am now keenly aware that no matter what I do, I am never alone – my baby is always with me, even in my most quiet of moments (let’s just say, she doesn’t stop moving for long). It’s odd to think right now that I have a constant companion, regardless of where I go or what I do.

There’s so much to do to prepare for our first child. But what I need to prepare most of all is myself. I find myself wanting to be the best parent I can be. Not really caring all that much if I do end up being able to go back to work or not after I give birth to our baby. I’m already thinking about what we can do now to start saving for her education so we can give her the best possible start in life.

Maybe I’m not clucky when it comes to babies, but I’m a Mum all the same. Maybe I don’t see other people’s babies as being anything to get particularly excited over, but somehow it’s completely different when she’s yours and yours alone. And in 11-15 week’s time, I will get to meet our little darling for the first time, face to face. And I can’t wait to meet her, hold her, nurture her, and most of all love her.

Besides which, I’m not even 30 weeks yet and she’s already starting to squish me a lot on the inside… so I’ll be more than happy to push her out of there when she’s ready!