Over the past six months I have tried different reward systems to see what works for our family. Most of them did not work. I think that I was over-doing it. Finally, I came up with a new one based on a few things that I either heard or read about. We have using this system for almost 2 months and the girls seem to understand this concept better than the previous systems.
How It Works:
- There are 3 rules: 1. Love each other 2. Obey immediately & 3. Tell the truth. Most everything fits into these categories. Not sharing, fighting, not being respectful etc. under rule 1. Whining, temper tantrums, complaining, ect. under rule 2.
- The reward cards are pictures of ice cream, pizza, cookies, book, & surprise. When they earn their reward they would get to choose which reward they want and it would be your responsibility to provide their choice as soon as possible. I bought several small new toys to use as the surprise gifts for my girls.
The Star Chart
- Every day each child starts with 5 stars. If they disobey the rules they get 1 star taken away. (You have to be careful to make sure you give warnings and not take them away too quickly. You also have to determine when an offense requires an additional or alternate discipline instead of just a star removal.)
- Before taking away a star, go over the rules and have your child repeat the rule that they broke. This will help them start to understand why they are being disciplined.
The Sticker Chart
- At the end of the day if the child still has any of their stars left then they get a character sticker (1 per day) on the sticker chart. If they do not have any stars then they do not get a character sticker.
- After they earn a pre-determined amount of character stickers they get to choose a reward card.
- The pre-determined amount of character stickers may be different for each child depending on their age. There are 12 spaces available but I recommend starting small. The amount can change as they get used to the chart and as they get older.
- For a younger child, 1 1/2 to 2 years, a character sticker each day may be all the reward they need until they are a bit older. My 2 year old needs the rewards because she sees her 4 year old sister getting them. You can adapt the system based on your child’s needs and understanding of the charts.
Those of you who have followed my blog for any period of time, know that I have been working on my anger issues. This reward system has helped me with controlling my anger. How? When my girls do something wrong, having these charts gives me an alternative option to yelling. If an offense requires that a star is to be removed, I have to walk them to where the charts are hanging. That gives me a few seconds to take deep breaths and calm myself down before going over the rules and taking their star away. Obviously, I have to choose NOT to yell and I often make the wrong choice. But the more that we use the system, the more I am recognizing that I can control my anger if I choose to.
Do you want to try my reward system?
I sell them over at Heart Treasures Boutique!
You can customize the charts with your child’s name. You can choose from 5 different chart colors and from 8 different characters: Toy Story, Cars, Princess, Princess & the Frog, Tinker Bell, Star Wars, Mickey & Friends, and Sesame Street! All charts & stickers are laminated. Everything sticks together using velcro. Mounting supplies for charts are not included. The size of each chart is 8 1/2 x 11.
Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22.6 (KJV)