I have been relatively quiet for the past couple of years…
…on this blog, I mean. I have checked in on my wordpress dashboard and even started writing several times. I just have not been able to get my thoughts down in a way that made sense. So many things have happened. So many changes. So many challenges. So many emotions. So many heartaches.
My dad died from a sudden illness in February 2019.
My marriage died by finalized divorce in April 2019… It died long before then but divorce makes it official.
My support system mostly died when I moved from New Mexico to Iowa (where I have never lived) in May 2019.
My finances died when I had to transition to a one income household in July 2019.
My holiday died when I spent my first Christmas without my kids in December 2019.
My grandfather, the Christian patriarch of our family, died in January 2020 (on my oldest daughter’s birthday).
My daily routine died when I was laid off work and the kids did not return to school due to COVID19 in present 2020.
MY LIFE HAS LITERALLY BEEN A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
And everything listed above does not include everything that happened in 2017 and 2018. With all of the negative, there has also been glimpses of comfort, hope, and joy.
When I moved to Iowa, I was able to stay at my ex-husband’s parent’s house while I job and house hunted. They have continually been supportive of the kids and I as we transitioned into our new location and routine. I returned to New Mexico for my ex-husband’s 20 year retirement from the Air Force ceremony. This was a proud moment for all of us and I am grateful that he allowed me to be a part of the celebration since we were together/married for most of his career.
After looking for employment for several months and all possibilities running dry for one reason or another, I was able to start a full-time, Monday through Friday, 8-5 job in June 2019. I work in the charter department for motorcoach company. I quote and book charter trips, plan and map routes for drivers, and regularly communicate with clients, drivers, dispatch, accounting, and management. I share an office with my supervisor and we get along well. I get to utilize my organization skills on a daily basis! Even though I am laid off for a few months (being that the travel industry came to a complete halt), I am grateful that I will have a job I love when business picks back up again.
With the little bit of money that I received from my dad’s estate, I was able to put a downpayment on a decent sized, move in ready house in July 2019. Plenty of downstairs living space, the kids and I each have our own upstairs bedroom, a fully finished attic which will eventually be the kid’s recreational space, garage, and yard. There are plenty of projects that come with owning a more than hundred year old home, but it has been a blessing to have a place that we can make our own. I have had run low on finances on occasion but God has provided everything we need every step of the way.
In December 2019, I finished my Biblical Studies Bachelor’s degree from Colorado Christian University. Remember when I started that journey back in Fall 2017? People have continually asked what I plan to do with my degree and my answer has been the same since I started… I do not know yet. I picked a degree path that I knew that I would stick with and I definitely met that goal. I originally intended to get an Associate’s degree and I finished that in December 2018. I decided to continue on to complete my Bachelor’s and due to everything that happened in 2019, that was one of the hardest things I have done. But, I stuck with it. I am proud of myself for finishing something that in a sense took 20 years to do! I enjoyed the majority of my classes and the in depth study of scripture. I know that I have a foundation for ministry opportunities and should God open a door for me to use my degree in the future, I will walk through it willingly.
My grandfather has had many medical issues over the past several years. Starting around the end of December, we knew that he would not be with us for long. The end of January the majority of our family met in Michigan for his funeral. We had several days of fellowship together and reflection on the legacy that our grandparents gave us. I truly value my family above all else under God and am thankful that I have a legacy to pass down to my children and grandchildren.
Since moving to Iowa, I have prayed for a support system here. I have found a good Bible preaching church, I have met several people that have become friends, and I have started dating again. The friendships that I have here do not yet compare to the ones I had in New Mexico but they have started to grow. In the mean time, I am thankful for the couple of friends in New Mexico who have continued to be my support system from afar.
There is so much more to be grateful for even in the midst of a pandemic: my respiratory therapist sister and other medical professionals, first responders, and caregivers on the front lines of of COVID19. I am thankful for the quality time spent with my children, time to work on household projects, time to rest, play games, assemble puzzles, have fun, and the time to edit and rebuild my blog for the first time in a long time. I believe that God is good and I am thankful that He has carried me through the past few years when I had no fight left to give. He has comforted me in my grief, helped me see hope on the horizon, and I can truly say that I am starting to find my joy again.